Sometimes I sit and wonder.
I wonder if I am on the right track.
I wonder why more people don’t come to Sundays at CSL, I wonder why
more people don’t take the workshops and the classes, when the message
is so inclusive and so freeing and so empowering.
And I do my spiritual work, and I know that yes, I am on the right
track. How do I know this?
The reasons for my knowing differ as much as the weather. The weather
is valid, and so are my reasons.
Some time ago I created a workshop called “Do What you Love for a
Living.” The basic premise of this workshop is that we should do what
we love and our good will show up. Sort of like the movie Field of
Dreams, in which the main character kept hearing “build it and they
will come.” The workshop addresses what I call the “yeah buts.”
“Yeah but you don’t have a family to support!” “Yeah but you don’t
understand!” “Yeah but this makes no sense to me!” And the people I
know who do what they love for a living get it, and have no need to
take the workshop, and the ones who do, won’t. So attendance is
disappointing. But I still know. I know with every fiber of my being
that I am on the right track. So I keep offering that workshop, and
others, because I think it is important. And if just one person gets
it, and emerges knowing that it isn’t God’s will that insures success,
but a connection with Spirit that is unshakeable that ensures success,
then I am satisfied. If just one person emerges with perhaps a different
idea of what success looks like, I am happy. But I still wonder why the workshop isn’t
packed, and why it isn’t standing room only on Sundays.
And then I get confirmation. Sometimes this comes in the form of a
book that has been recommended to me, not for any particular reason,
but because it seems the next indicated right thing. That book, right
now, is called, “It’s All God,” by Walter Starcke.
I could write reams about the confirmations I am receiving by reading
this book, but for now I will just include this one quote: “When the
Spirit in which you do something is more important to you than the
results you wish to achieve, you are spiritual. When the results are
more important to you than how you go about getting them, you are
I’m spiritual. I’ve got a mission statement of sorts in my life. It
reads like this: I do my inner work, my spiritual work. I have
awareness, and I know I am part of Spirit and It is part of me. I
keep doing this inner work and thus am confident that when the next
indicated right thing to do shows up in my life, I do it, even if it
doesn’t make sense to me or anyone else, because the spirit in which I
do it is more important than the results.
Yes, it is important to pay the bills and support our families. My
point here is not that it is an either/or. We aren’t spiritual at the
expense of those practical kinds of things. We are spiritual….and
that supports those practical kinds of things. There is no duality
And so I keep on keeping on, because I know that this is the right
thing to do. I keep creating the Sunday talks, and delivering them to
the handful of people who show up, ministering to those and honestly,
praying for the ones who do not show up. I keep wondering about this
Christian culture that I live in, and knowing that for this
Gnostically inclined spiritual-but-not-religious minister, what I am
being and doing makes sense, and I have to know that there are others
out there for whom it makes sense as well. I write, and publish
(exciting!) and speak, and I create workshops, and I do what comes up.
Because spirit is more important than the results. I do not know what
the results will be ultimately. Not because it is all in God’s hands.
I don’t believe in that sort of God. But because I know that when I
do the right thing, the right thing shows up. It’s a Law.
So I ask you today: why are you doing what you are doing? Does it
give you fulfillment? Is the Spirit in which you are doing it more
important? Or are the results more important? Examine this closely.
And if the answers to these questions disturb you a bit, perhaps it
might be time to get some different answers.